Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Wayback Wednesday: Maybe she’s still pondering your explanation

Wayback Wednesday: Maybe she’s still pondering your explanation

Or she was just having a bad-brain day.

Educational

Educational

Should have gone on spring break.

Memory-Lane Monday: Consistency should count for something

Memory-Lane Monday: Consistency should count for something

We just wanted to see if anyone was paying attention.

Flashback Friday: 90 days same as cache?

Flashback Friday: 90 days same as cache?

We would say, ‘Unclear on the concept,’ but that’s too generous.

Wayback Wednesday: He’s really good at worst-case scenarios

Wayback Wednesday: He’s really good at worst-case scenarios

There’s a hole in the boss’s cost-savings plan.

So long, farewell

So long, farewell

It can be so hard to let go.

Memory-Lane Monday: Sometimes the problem is clear

Memory-Lane Monday: Sometimes the problem is clear

In which case, the solution is not.

Flashback Friday: Touchy

Flashback Friday: Touchy

A backup generator apparently should provide some backup work.

Wayback Wednesday: Data safeguarding, by the professionals

Wayback Wednesday: Data safeguarding, by the professionals

And you had done such a good job.

Only connect

Only connect

Oh, yes, we’ve all been there and done that.

Memory-Lane Monday: System Zzzzz

Memory-Lane Monday: System Zzzzz

This fish needs a wake-up call.

Flashback Friday: Reduce, reuse, recycle, reward

Flashback Friday: Reduce, reuse, recycle, reward

Some good deeds are not punished.

Wayback Wednesday: Out of rotation

Wayback Wednesday: Out of rotation

You have more faith in computers than you should.

All in a day’s work

All in a day’s work

How about using ‘IHate(TechBehemoth)’ for that new email address?

Memory-Lane Monday: A patch in time …

Memory-Lane Monday: A patch in time …

… saves nine, but too late wastes eight?

Flashback Friday: Anything missing?

Flashback Friday: Anything missing?

Or maybe she’s a one-name entity, like Cher.

Wayback Wednesday: So much for job security

Wayback Wednesday: So much for job security

The years just roll on by.

Dumb luck?

Dumb luck?

Because, really, what were the chances?

Memory-Lane Monday: And he’s still on Windows 7 to this day

Memory-Lane Monday: And he’s still on Windows 7 to this day

He just wanted to be ahead of his time.

Flashback Friday: Now he’s a believer

Flashback Friday: Now he’s a believer

But his initial doubt was understandable.

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